Feelings
by Link's Little Brother
Summary: I've always kept my feelings hidden, for showing emotions is pathetic. But today... Today I don't know if I can. (One-sided boy x boy, pairings will be found in the story.)
1. The Ceremony

Why am I here? Here, of all places?

I lean back against the wall, hands stuffed in the pockets of my tuxedo pants.

The scene playing before me is one of happiness and laughter. One that I simply cannot partake in.

My gaze travels over to... To _him._

With _her._

They're so happy together, laughing and dancing. The husband and wife to be.

"Hey Paul." Comes a soft, familiar voice.

I turn my head towards the source, first seeing a pair of emerald eyes before noticing the matching color hair.

"Hey Drew." I mumble, letting some sympthy cross my face.

Drew seems so... Broken. Like a mirror someone had tried to put back together with tape. Yet behind all of the sadness, there lay a smile on his face. A smile for her.

Drew and I are the only ones who feel the same on this day.

_"Paul! You came!" The raven-haired boy exclaims excitedly, bounding up to me. _

_I shrugged lightly. "I couldn't miss out on something like this. You picked me to be a groomsmen." I admit. But not in a good way. Luckily, he didn't notice. "So, who's the girl?"_

_The other turns 90 degrees, referring to a brunette, who is smiling brightly and happily chatting away with Dawn, a blue-haired girl who I find kind of OK. _

_"Isn't she beautiful?" He whispers, a dreamy expression crossing his features. "Her name's May."_

_My stomach twists into a knot. "Whatever." I almost hiss, turning away from the girl. _

_The other looks confused, and opens his mouth to say something, but a calling of his name interuppts him. "Oh! More people! I'll talk to you later, Paul!" He gives me a bright smile before rushing over to greet his new guests._

_My hands ball into fists, feeling that horrid feeling of stupid jealousy rush over me._

_Letting out a puff of frustration, I look around. I notice a green-haired male, who seemed upset and staring at that girl... May._

_I stroll over to the male. "Hey. What're you staring at the bride for?" It pained me to call her that horrid word. Wife of him..._

_The green-haired looks over at me. "Why should I tell you? I don't even know you."_

_"Because I think I know why you are, and I am feeling the same."_

_He pauses before admiting. "I'm in love with her. And she-she's marrying _him_." He pauses for a moment. "How can you relate? You're not in love with someone you can't have." He growls._

_I let my gaze wander over to the groom, who is talking with a orange-haired girl._

_The other follows my gaze, his expression softening. "Oh... Ash, huh? I didn't think-"_

_"Nobody did." I cut him off with a sneer. _

_A silence fills the air around us for a few moments._

_"...The name's Drew."_

_"Paul."_

"The ceremony's gonna start soon." Drew pipes up, pulling me out of the flashback.

"Terrific." I growl, sarcasm dripping from my tone.

A sigh emits from the other. "I feel the same." He mumbles, his voice sounding like it could shatter.

But not me. I won't show how... Broken I feel. That's weak.

I notice Drew watching May, and he seems to be breaking more and more.

I actually feel kinda bad for the guy. He's told me about their history, and with how it has ended up now, it wasn't too good.

"You'll get through it." I finally mumble to him.

His emerald eyes snap back towards me, a little smile coming up to his lips. But this one was struck with sadness. "Thanks."

"The ceremony is starting!" A voice booms, and everyone except the wedding crew files into the place of the ceremony.

I get in my place next to Dawn, who is a bridesmaid.

Drew takes his place behind Brock and Misty, Best Man and Maid of Honor, and in front of Max, May's younger brother, who is the flower boy.

Dawn gives me a sympathetic smile. "Sorry." She whispers.

"Whatever." I grumble in an indifferent tone, which caused her to face forward again.

The music starts to play, and we start to file in in the order assigned.

The chapel was beautifully decorated, with flowers of all different kinds and colors. The floor was a pure white, and the altar had drapes and flowers scattered around it. What caught my eye was a bounquet of roses on either sides, which I realized were from Drew. The music is soft with a royal tone to it, with a violin and a piano playing in harmony.

I hate it.

After walking down the aisle, I depart from Dawn and take my place on the left side, tyring my best not to look at Ash.

I notice Drew walk down the aisle, an expression of seriousness and maybe elegance, but I know what was really behind that expression.

Everything goes completely quiet, if it wasn't quiet already as the bride walks down the aisle, arm in arm with what seemed to be her father. Her wedding is gorgeous, with white flowers knitted in at the bottom and a pattern that seems like swirls with sparkles dancing across the rest of the dress. A while veil hangs over her smiling face.

I look over at Drew who seemed to have his breath taken away. So did Ash.

At seeing that stupid expression on the groom's face for _her _made that sick, twisting feeling in my stomach return again. I restrain myself from balling my hands into fists.

The ceremony starts, but I didn't listen. I didn't want to listen to those sickening words that would bond that couple forever.

The emotions that I had managed to keep hidden so well were starting to build up.

But one sentence manages to break through my block of hearing.

"If anyone objects to the marriage of these two, speak now, or forever hold your peace."

A feeling of desperation washes over me, making me pray that someone would say _something_.

Speak up. Someone. Anyone.

But nobody did. And just like that, my chance is gone.

Those damned feelings come crashing over me. My feelings for Ash, my feelings for the loss, my feelings for this wedding...

The ceremony continued on, but I couldn't watch. I lower my head, finally letting free those tears that have been stinging my eyes. They are silent, and the expression on my face I know is indifferent.

Nobody notices. Maybe Drew did. Maybe someone in the crowd did.

But Ash did.

...

_**Did you enjoy that? I hope this gave you some emotions.**_

_**This story was inspired by Psychic Prince's **__**Signifigance**__**. I highly suggest you go read that, for it is pure amazingness.**_

_**Until next time!**_

**-LLB**


	2. After the Ceremony

I couldn't stand staying after the stupid ceremony. Sliding my hands in my pockets, I walk forward, down the brick path. Street lamps light up the area around them, as it was nighttime now. The cool air gently hits my slightly damp face, but I didn't care.

Everything hurt on the inside. Stupid Ash. Being so... So attractive.

No. Stop thinking that. He's happier now. With her.

Not you.

The thought just seems to tighten the knot in my stomach. I don't know why it hurts so much.

Maybe it's because Ash is the first one I've fallen for. It was hard not to, even though I tried to deny it. Now it's as clear as day.

And I hate it. Why did she have to fall for him, too?

And why he did fall for her back? And not me?

I growl to myself. This is all so frustrating, and I can't believe I was weak enough to fall for anyone in general.

"Paul!" Calls a faint voice.

I assume it is Drew, as he would be the only person who would come looking for me, so I stop walking.

The sound of footsteps quickly becomes apparent, and before I knew it, the person whips me around to face them.

But emerald eyes and matching hair are not what greet me.

Instead there is messy, brown hair that has been tried to be tamed, and chocolate eyes that part of me couldn't stand staring into.

Ash.

"What?" I hiss harshly.

Being used to my cold attitude, Ash doesn't flinch. "Why aren't you inside having fun?"

"I wanted to take a walk for a bit." I respond instantly. It wasn't exactly a lie.

Ash chews at his bottom lip, searching my cold, coal eyes. "Then come inside now. I haven't seen you since the ceremony." He pleads.

"It hasn't even been that long." I counter.

"It's been half an hour, Paul. Come inside." Ash repeats, his tone firm.

I didn't want to go inside, see everyone so happy for the _lovely _married couple. But... It was Ash's wedding, his day of happiness. I would probably just have to leave a little early, claiming the Reggie needs me...

"...Fine." I finally give in. "Only because you insist."

The newly married man perks up. "Thank you! Come on, then." He motions for me to follow before walking back to the place where the afterparty or whatever it was was being held.

I comply, walking beside him. This is probably the only chance I'll have alone with him...

I grab his hand, tugging it lightly. "Come on, your... Wife is probably missing you."

The other stumbles a little, gripping my hand tighter, but regains himself and walks at my pace.

Gazing at him from the corner of my eye, I found the urge to want to just take him away and have him all for myself. Kiss that face of his...

I force myself to stop looking at him as we enter our destination. Realizing I was still holding his hand, I release it and shove my hand back into my pocket.

Seeing as I had entered with him, Ash sends me a smile before rushing off to other people.

Damn that smile.

I scan the room, spotting Drew chatting away with May. May actually looks pretty happy with him, as if she didn't miss her husband at all.

Oh, stop it. She's not thinking about him 24/7.

My eyes travel over to Ash again, who is now talking with Misty.

A huff escapes my lips as I stroll over to a somewhat empty part of the room, leaning against the wall and quietly watching the party commence before me.

...

It was about 3AM before the party finally came to an end. Ash had rented everyone a room in a nice, small hotel, so everyone is staying over for the night before leaving the following morning/afternoon.

But I don't want to sleep. No exhaustion or weariness swirl in my mind and through my body right now, unlike everyone else.

I'm the only one still out of their room half an hour after the whole party thing ended.

So I'm sitting on a bench just outside the hotel, staring blankly up at the stars.

I don't know what to think. I've thought too much already, too much about the wedding and about him.

Just the pure mention of him makes me want to punch something, reminding me that I have to get over him due to the minisucle chance of me getting him.

"Paul?"

Damn it.

"What do you want?" I ask indifferently, staring forward.

I hear some shifting before the known person sits next to me. "I need to ask you something."

Turning my head to face the brunet, I give him a look that asks what he wants to ask.

"...You know at the ceremony, when they said if anyone refuses, speak now, or forever hold your peace?" Ash asks.

Not that. I shift my gaze, but nod in response.

"...Why were you crying?" His voice comes out as a whisper, one filled with concern and worry.

He saw me. _He saw me_. Him, of all people, noticed it.

"I wasn't crying." I lie after a few moments.

His eyes narrow. "You're lying. I saw it, Paul."

Silence.

"None of your business." I state, not caring if my tone comes out cold.

"Yes it is. Today was a special day with happiness for everyone, not just May and me. I want to know." Ash presses further.

"...I was disappointed nobody rejected it." I finally admit.

"But why? Did you not want us to get married?" The other questions.

"It's not important. Go have fun with your wife." I hiss harshly.

"Yes it is, Paul! I want to know why someone was crying - especially _you_, of all people - at my wedding!"

"I just told you, Ash."

"Then why didn't you reject?"

"So you could be happy with that girl, OK?!"

Another silence, but this one has shock on one end.

"...Then why were you crying if you wanted us to be happy? Shouln't you have been smiling or smirking?" Ash asks gently.

I can't take this anymore. So I just go for it.

In a flash, I smash our lips together into a kiss. I let it soften after a second. I keep our lips together, savoring it while I cold before pulling away about four seconds later.

All that is written across Ash's face is shock, confusion, and disbelief all together.

"That's why." I finish before turning and heading back into the hotel, my mind swirling.

**...**

**Didn't expect a second chapter? Well, this orignally was supposed to be a one-shot, but I decided to add on to it. I'm not sure where it should go next, so leave ideas in reviews? **

**Until next time!**

**-LLB**


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